Viruses Are Tricky Things
by Red Witch
Summary: The XMen get infected with Lance's cold, so the Brotherhood decide to help out if only to get out of school.


**Disclaimer: I own none of the X-Men Evolution characters. Continuing from where I left off in "Under the Weather, Lance?" Pietro plots some more, and Lance learns that his time with Kitty has unexpected consequences. More pointless insanity. **

**Viruses Are Tricky Things**

"I will get him," Pietro snarled when he reached the Brotherhood lunch table. "I will make that Principal Kelly's life miserable if it is the last thing I do!"

"I thought the last thing you would do is to prove to Daniels you're better than he is?" Todd asked.

"Well that's not much of a challenge anymore is it?" Pietro snapped. "How dare he take all the credit for finding out the school's water supply is contaminated! That was my idea! Pompous wind bag!"

"So what are you gonna do?" Lance asked. 

"I haven't decided yet," Pietro drummed his fingers on the table. "But it's got to be big. Big."

"How about mailing him to China?" Todd suggested. "Like we did to those subs?"

"Been there done that," Pietro waved his hand. "It's got to annoy him. Correction it has to drive him absolutely bonkers!" 

"You could do several pranks at once," Fred said.

"Yes but they need to have a theme!" Pietro said. "Something perfect! Something that will really humiliate him! But what? What? It's so hard to top myself! This is going to take a while. Oh well, I guess I'll have to settle for Toad sliming his car again until I think of something more original."

"Hey did anyone see Kitty today?" Lance asked.

"Nope haven't seen her," Todd nodded. "Come to think of it, I didn't see Rogue either. Or Blue Boy."

"I didn't see Daniels," Pietro looked up. "Now that I think about it, class was unusually quiet today. Off course that could be because I put sleeping pills in the teacher's coffee…"

Scott and Jean walked by. "He-llooo there!" Pietro waved to them. 

"Hey where are all the other X-Geeks?" Lance asked. "I didn't see Kitty in class."

"They're all at home," Jean snapped. "Kitty caught your cold and passed it along to half of the students at the institute!"

"Kitty's sick!" Lance jumped up. "I gotta see her!" 

"You've done enough!" Jean snapped. "You caused all this on purpose didn't you?"

"What?" Lance glared at her. 

"Don't deny it, I know your diseased mind!" Jean huffed. She was starting to look a little warm. "You were doing to get back at me. Because you can't have me! Ha!"

"Jean are you feeling okay?" Scott looked at her.

"Fine," She blinked. "Never felt better. I feel fine. I feel pretty. I feel pretty," She started to sing. "I feel pretty and witty and bright….la…la.."

"Uh oh," Scott blanched. "I think I'd better take you to the nurse." 

"I don't wanna go to the nurse," Jean shoved him playfully. "I'm having fun right here! Hey Scott, watch this!" She used her telekinesis to spill some food on a few football players' jerseys. 

"Ha! That was fun!" She giggled. "I wonder what else I can do?"

"This is not good," Scott blanched as Jean used her mind to pick up an apple and fling it at Duncan's head. "Bull's eye!"

"Good aim," Todd nodded. 

"Jean!" Scott hissed in her ear as Duncan angrily looked around. 

"Oh relax Scott," She waved him off. "I didn't hit anything he uses." 

Duncan walked over to another table full of jocks. Soon he was getting into a shoving match. A shoving match which soon turned into a food fight. 

"I think it's time we went back to the institute now," Scott blanched. 

"Aw…" Jean pouted.

"We'll help you," Lance said.

"We will?" Todd asked.

"You just wanna see Kitty!" Scott snapped.

"Yes. I also don't wanna see Red here do any more damage," Lance pointed out. 

Just as he said that Principal Kelly walked into the cafeteria. Jean smirked and used her telekinesis to pick up a pie and smack Kelly square in the face with it.

"See what I mean?" Lance told him.

"You have a point," Scott grumbled.

"Come on guys," Lance helped support Jean. "We're going on a little trip."

"We're going too?" Fred asked. "Why?"

"Three reasons Freddy," Pietro told him. "Free food, get out of school for the rest of the day, and watch the X-Geeks make complete idiots of themselves!"

"I'll get the camera!" Todd piped up.

Soon they were all at the mansion. Scott carried Jean in and the Brotherhood followed them. "Don't tell me," Logan groaned when he saw them. "Another patient?"

"Yeah," Scott nodded.

"Take her upstairs," Logan nodded. "What are you doing here?"

"We came to help," Lance said. 

"I'll bet," He grumbled and folded his arms. "But we can use all the help we can get!" 

"YEEEHA!" A loud voice came from upstairs.

"Oh no," Logan groaned. "The Half Pint's out again."

"I'll get her!" Lance raced upstairs. 

"I thought he would," Logan grumbled. "Hey! I see you heading off for the kitchen you two!" He said to Fred and Todd. "Come on! If you're really going to help I need someone to do the laundry!"

They looked at each other. "We'll be glad to help," Todd smiled.

"Why do I have the feeling I am going to regret this?" Logan put his head in his hand. "Where's Quicksilver?"

"Probably off to torment Daniels," Todd shrugged. "Where else would he be?"

"Oh brother," Logan grumbled. 

Meanwhile Lance found Kitty dancing in the halls. She was in her pajamas and laughing like crazy. She then looked like she was about to faint when Lance caught her in his arms.

"Kitty are you okay?" Lance asked.

"No," She blinked. "I'm way behind schedule!"

"Kitty I think your schoolwork can wait," Lance helped her up.

"Who cares about school?" She snapped. "I have to invade France before winter comes!"

"You what?" Lance looked at her.

"General Rogue where are you?" She looked around.

"Here!" Rogue saluted. "Come on! We set sail for England before the tide washes out!"

"Change of plans," Kitty snapped. "We're going to France!" 

"But you said we were gonna invade England!" Rogue stamped her foot. "I wanna invade England! You promised!" 

"Why do you want to invade England?" Kitty asked. "In fact why do I want to invade France? It makes no sense!"

"Okay Kitty you're not feeling too well," Lance told her. "You're a bit under the weather."

"You're right. What was I thinking?" She sighed. "We'll invade the Bahamas!" 

"Oh boy," Lance rolled his eyes. "Okay time to go back to bed you two!" Lance picked up and carried Kitty to her room. Reluctantly he put her down on the bed and went back for Rogue. She was dancing the hula. 

"Aloha oe…" She sang. "Aloha oe…La de dada da da de! Hey!" Lance carefully threw a blanket over her so she wouldn't accidentally touch his skin. "What happened to the lights? Hey! Put me down!" Lance threw her over his shoulder and carried her back to bed. He dumped her on the bed, sheet and all. Then he went back to Kitty. She had passed out and was sound asleep. Lance sighed and tucked her in. He brushed her hair out of her face then lightly kissed her forehead. "Sleep well Pretty Kitty," He whispered before leaving the room. 

"Hello?" Rogue called out. "I still have a sheet on my head! Hello? Anybody?" 

After he deposited Jean in her room Scott thought it would be a good time to talk to Xavier. "Professor!" Scott burst into Xavier's office. "Jean's sick too! Alvers and the rest of the Brotherhood are here trying to contain the damage. Personally I think he's using it as an excuse to…Professor?"

Xavier sat there with a silly look on his face. "Professor?" Scott waved his hand in front of his face. 

"Huh?" Xavier looked at him. "Oh hello Scott how are you?"

"Professor?" Scott put a hand on his forehead. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Hello Scott how are you?" Xavier kept smiling.

"O-kay," Scott groaned. "Professor maybe you should go back to bed."

"Scott, you wanna see something really neat?" Xavier grinned. "Watch this!" 

He pressed his fingers to his temples and made an astral projection of himself. "Isn't that neat!" He laughed. "Is it warm in here?"

"This is not good," Scott groaned. 

"What's going on," Lance walked in. 

"Hi!" Xavier waved. "I know who you are! You're James Cagney!" 

"Who?" Lance mouthed.

Scott shrugged. He had no clue either. "Well thanks a lot Lance!"

"Me what did I do?" Lance snapped. 

"You made everyone sick that's what you did!" 

"Me? 

"Yeah you!" 

"Hey I only got sick because that stupid aquarium was full of germs!"

"Well you shouldn't have jumped in the dolphin tank in the first place!" 

"Hey this chair's got wheels," Xavier noticed. 

"This is all your fault!" Scott got in Lance's face.

"Oh is that the thanks I get for coming here to help you!" Lance snapped back.

"The only person you want to help is yourself!" Scott snapped. 

"If that's what you think I don't even know why I bother talking to you!" Lance snapped.

"Then don't talk to me!" Scott shouted.

"Fine!" Lance huffed. "I won't!" 

"Fine!" 

"Fine!"

"Professor…" Scott looked around. "Where did he go?" 

"Well he's in a wheelchair how far could he have gotten?" Lance asked.

Meanwhile down in the laundry room, Logan thought it would be a good idea to check on Fred and Todd. He wasn't surprised when he opened the door and was instantly covered with a tidal wave of bubbles. "Yup," he said. "I knew it! All right you two come on out of there!" 

Todd and Fred laughed. They were playing in the bubbles. 

"You two clowns…" Logan snarled. Then he noticed someone else was there. "Chuck?"

"Hi Logan," Xavier smiled. "Hey did you know there's a room that goes up and down and up and down in this house? It's amazing!"

"Oh no," Logan groaned.

"Hey that looks like fun!" Xavier looked inside the room. "I wanna play too!"

"Chuck get back here!" Logan groaned.

"Wheeee!" Xavier spun himself around in his chair, sending foam bubbles everywhere.

"Okay now I've seen everything," Todd said. "Here have a bubble toupee!"

"Thank you Fluffy," Xavier smiled as Todd piled the bubbles on him. 

"Fluffy?" Logan grumbled. "Who's Fluffy?"

"Why my Aunt Rachel's cocker spaniel of course," Xavier said as if it was the most casual thing in the world.

"That's it!" Logan snapped. "I can't take any more! Chuck you're off to bed!" he grabbed his communicator. "Storm we have a problem!"

"I'm singing in the rain!" Her voice came out. "Singing in the rain!" 

"Well that's original!" Todd chuckled.

"Hank!" Logan snapped into his communicator. "Do you have a cure yet?"

"I believe I do," Hank's voice came over. "Fortunately this virus is merely a mutant version of the common cold. Fascinating!" 

"Yeah well hurry up with the antidote. They're dropping like flies out here!" Logan spat out. "Chuck and Storm are affected too! And now I'm stuck baby sitting the Brotherhood!" 

"Fear not!" Hank's voice came out. "I will be done in a moment. I also think it would be a good idea to give an injection to those who haven't had it yet."

"I don't wanna shot yo!" Todd yelped.

"A shot won't work on me," Fred said. "Invulnerable skin, remember?"

"Hank put some in a muffin or something for Blob here!" Logan groaned. 

Somehow Logan managed to get Xavier to the lab as well as Fred and Todd. Lance and Scott were there as well, helping the other X-men line up and get their shots. 

Pietro zoomed in with Evan. Evan was made up in a clown's outfit.

"Where have you been?" Lance snapped.

"Oh just doing a little filming," Pietro held a camcorder. "Doing a little redecorating of Daniels' room. That sort of thing!" 

"I'm Bozo the clown," Evan giggled stupidly.

"Well just get your stupid shot and then we can get out of here before they come to their senses," Lance told him. 

"Oh all right," Pietro tapped his foot impatiently.

"I think for expediency's sake we should do the Brotherhood first," Hank suggested.

"Yeah the sooner they get their shots the sooner they can get out of here!" Scott fumed. 

"I got a lollypop!" Fred happily licked his and ate it.

"Why couldn't I get a lollypop?" Todd whined as Hank gave him the shot.

"Because you don't have the same invulnerable skin he has!" Lance snapped.

"OWW!" Todd yelped.

"You are such a baby," Pietro sniffed. "OW!" 

"Ha! Now who's the baby?" Todd sneered.

"Hey this guy nearly took my arm off!" Pietro snapped.

As soon as they got their shots Lance decided to go. Some of the X-men were regaining their senses already and he knew it would be a matter of time before a fight broke out. So they went home. "Well at least that's over with," Lance sighed as they walked in the door.

Just then a large explosion sounded in the kitchen. They ran in and found Tabitha dancing around like crazy. She didn't look so well.

"Hi guys," Tabitha sniffed. "Oh wow! It's the Backstreet Boys! Yayyy!"

"Better call the mad doctor," Lance rolled his eyes. "He has one more patient." 


End file.
